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Into the Woods

The couple walked along the expanse of woods that was so dense the sounds of civilization could not penetrate it, but a gasping sound emanated from it and reverberated out from the underbrush and through the trees

“What’s that sound?” asked Guy.

“What sound?” replied Lady.

“The sound coming from the woods,” clarified Guy.

Lady cocked her head to the side and a wrinkle formed over her brow as she strained to listen: “I don’t hear anything. This sure is a lovely evening for a walk.

“Sure is. There’s a lot of woods back here,” responded Guy.

“Oh, yes.” Lady waved her hand as she spoke: “They just go for miles.”

Lady and Guy continued walking along the edge of the woods as sinuous silhouettes undulated in the underbrush.

“There’s just no one around,” said Lady.

Guy scanned the expanse of woods before him as he replied: “What’s that?”

Startled by Guy’s question and suddenly pointing finger, Lady trained her eyes on the woods: “What’s what?"

“What’s that?” Guy motioned to a small clearing in the woods where a structure could be seen between the thicket-maze of trees.

“That’s just an old family house.” Lady peered through the trees at the structure and shuddered: “It gives me the jitters.”

Guy ran toward the woods and stepped into the tree line: “Let’s check it out.”

“Guy, I don’t like the sound of that,” cautioned Lady.

Guy ignored Lady’s warning and walked into the woods: “Come, on. It looks cool.”

Lady rolled her eyes and reluctantly began to follow Guy. Approaching the tree line, she realized she could no longer see Guy and called out: “Guy, wait for me.” As she opened her mouth to speak, a gnat made a beeline for the back of her throat, and she began to hack: “There’s—a—bug—in—my—mouth.” Lady swallowed the bug before continuing, “Oh, Guy wait for me.”

Lady pushed the branches aside and stepped into the woods. A branch slipped from her hand and hit her in the head, sending a barrette flying from her hair: “Oh, that’s my favorite barrette.”

Lady bent to retrieve the barrette lying at her feet but failed to realize the ground sloped down as it led into the woods. Leaning forward, she lost her balance and began to fall forwards. Tucking her chin into her chest, Lady somersaulted through the tree line, landed on her feet, stood straight up, and reattached the barrette to her hair: “I guess my gymnastics training with Miss Tribade paid off.”

Putting the finishing touches on her hair, Lady surveyed the two-story house. It was a Victorian round house topped with a cupola and laced with gothic excess. The windows were boarded up and dark green ivy covered one side of the structure. Lady shuddered as she noticed the color of the paint: “Nobody uses gunmetal gray on an exterior anymore.”

Noticing Guy on the porch, Lady shuddered again as she realized Guy was reaching for the doorknob: “Oh, Guy, please don’t go in that spooky old place.”

“Come on, it will be fun,” Guy urged her onward from his position on the front porch.

“At least wait for me, Guy McManus!” Lady walked in the direction of the house but found her forward movement thwarted by her heels, which pierced the soft earthen floor with each step.

With great effort, Lady slowly made her way toward the porch. She had to lower her center of gravity to pull her heels free from the earth with each step, and she lumbered toward the porch like a hunchbacked arthritic victim moving in slow motion.

Guy fingered the doorknob until he heard Lady step onto the porch behind him: “I think it’s unlocked.”

“Really, Guy!” Lady leaned against the porch post and scraped the dirt off her right heel with her fingernail: “The least you can do is offer me your handkerchief."

The door swung open under its own power and a hand wrapped around Guy’s forearm and pulled him into the house as a second hand reached behind him. Lady looked up just in time to see an open palm heading toward her face. The palm smacked against her forehead and sent her flying off the porch. Her purse and shoes flew from her body as she sailed through the air. Landing on her backside and lost in the folds of her skirt, which now rested high on her waist, Lady looked toward the door just in time to see Guy’s feet disappear and the door slam closed: “Guy!?!”

Guy stood facing the interior of the door with a wide and dusty spiral staircase to his back. He slammed his fists against the door: “Lady, the door is locked, and the windows are sealed from the outside.”

Outside, Lady turned the doorknob and pushed with all her strength: “Oh, Guy! It won’t open. I’ll try a window.”

Lady stepped off the porch and walked to the nearest window. The window was covered with plywood, and the plywood was nailed down with nails placed every six inches.

Lady hiked up her skirt, kicked her leg into the air, and dug her heel into the side of the house as she wrapped her fingers over the edge of the plywood and pulled until she was red-faced: “Oh, Guy. It’s no use. It won’t budge.”

Guy pressed his ear against the door and strained to hear something of Lady’s actions: “Where’d she go? I can’t hear her.”

Guy, a breathy voice flowed down the stairwell.

Guy spun around and looked toward the top of the stairs: “Lady? How did you get up there?”

Guy listened for an answer, but the only response he received was the repetition of his name, Guy.

“Lady! This is no time for tomfoolery.” Irritated with Lady’s lack of response, Guy stormed up the stairwell. At the top of the stairs, he found several doors and wondered behind which of them hid Lady: “Lady?”

Guy, his named slipped from beneath the door directly at the head of the stairs.
Grabbing the doorknob firmly, Guy swung the door open and stood slack jawed and motionless at what he found on the other side.

The room was suffused with dusty gray light and barren except for a threadbare mattress and on the mattress reclined a naked and luminous lavender body.

Lady collected her shoes and purse and stood on the porch rifling through the latter: “There must be something helpful in here.” Withdrawing her hand from her purse, Lady smiled as she raised a hairpin before her eyes: “This usually does the trick.”

“Hello, Guy.” Guy stood in the doorway as he was greeted by the spectral purple being.

“You are drawing me to you with your ghastly ghostly powers,” Guy walked slowly toward the reclining presence.

“No, I’m not. I only said hello,” explained the ghost.

Meanwhile, outside the front door, Lady bent over the doorknob and inserted the hairpin into the keyhole: “This is not working. Guy must be petrified.”

Guy reached the foot of the bed, “I’m helpless under your powers.”

“Ah, not really. I can move things, but I don’t have the mind control thing down yet,” replied the ghost.

Guy knelt on the bed and started unbuttoning his shirt, “I can’t resist you.”

“Oh, Guy, you charmer,” replied the ghost as he extended his arms toward Guy.

Lady sat on the porch steps regrouping and pondering Guy’s safety: “Oh, I must save Guy. There’s no telling how lonely he is—he might get hurt.”

Guy draped his naked body over the ghosts: “Take me to your ghastly ghostly world.”

“Actually, I live here.” The ghost squeezed Guy’s ass as he spoke, “How about we just have sex here.”

“I have no choice under your bewitching spell,” mumbled Guy.

“Yeah, okay, whatever works for you, honey.” The ghost rolled his eyes as he rolled Guy onto his back. With a wave of the ghost’s hand, Guy was pantless, lubricated, and his legs were airborne. Guy exhaled audibly as the ghost pressed his cock between the folds of his ass.

Lady hugged her knees to her chest: “Oh, whatever shall I do? I just know Guy’s in big trouble.” The silhouette’s continued their shadowy shuffling in the underbrush as Lady looked around the woods: “There’s just no one here to turn to.” Breaking into tears, Lady rifled through her purse once more: “Oh, this is helpful.”

Guy hovered midair over ghost’s erect cock, which extended upwards from his reclining body. Guy was slowly lowered onto it, and once in position, his body rotated on the cock like the earth on its axis. The ghost cackled with joy as he began to thrust his cock into Guy’s ass: “Spin for me, my little bottom, spin for me!”

Lady removed the tissue from her purse and began to dab the corners of her eyes: “Guy must be crying too.”

Locked in a post-coital embrace, Guy draped his body over the ghost’s: “I am under your power; I’ll never leave you now.”

Lady jumped to her feet as the front door flew open, but she was not fast enough to catch a glimpse of the translucent violet foot that propelled Guy by the seat of his pants out the door and into the front yard.

Guy landed on the ground with a thud and a loud yell. Dozens of heads turned suddenly and glared out at the scene from the underbrush.

Lady rushed to Guy’s side and helped him to his feet: “Oh, Guy. I just didn’t know where to go for help.”

Guy dusted off his clothes and motioned to the woods with his head: “Why didn’t you ask those guys for help?”

Lady trained her eyes on the woods: “What guys? Really, Guy! It’s not bad enough you’re hearing things that aren’t there, but now, you’re seeing people who aren’t there!”

Guy compensated for his bowlegged posture as he extended his elbow to Lady: “Shall we continue our walk?”

Lady gleefully accepted Guy’s elbow: “Let’s head home and decide on our china pattern.”

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